All classes and presenters subject to change.
Nicki Robbins, LPC
Games People Play in Poly (PG-13)
This class discusses on different partners react in a polycule or relationship. We will explore the 3 ego states of Transactional Analysis and how they apply to everyone in a relationship. Also what is the drama triangle in codependency and how to get off the triangle. We will also discuss how to communicate more effectively coming from a place of self love using the HART tools.
Care and Feeding of Polywogs (PG-13)
Polyamorous relationships without children can be difficult to manage and even more so when one or more partners have little polywogs. Children can thrive in a poly environment or they can just survive until adulthood. Some topics covered will be when and how to discuss polyamory, coming out to family or not, how to get the polywogs emotionally grounded versus nervous about divorce, and many others.
Poly and Pregnancy (PG-13)
The course objective is to familiarize mental health professionals with how to handle a pregnancy in a Polycule. Topics include contraception, having the conversation, relationship negotiations, hospital consideration, and more.
Discuss actions to take with an unexpected pregnancy
Explain conversations and questions to ask with an un expected and planned pregnancy.
Discuss which partners will be co parenting and which partners will not be involved in parenting.
Be able to explain the complications that may happen with medical care.
Summarize legal issues with medical care.
Anna Baxter, LPC
Doin It Solo (Polyamory) (PG-13)
Most discussions on polyamory focus on the couple, triad, quad, and more. But what about the singles out there? We’ll talk about what solo polyamory is, why it’s different from couple-dom, and what solo polyamorists can do to take care of themselves and their loves in a world dominated by couples, Vs, and triads.
Keep Cool in Conflict (PG)
Conflict is inevitable in all relationships. It doesn’t have to destroy your relationship or your self. Anna Baxter, a professional relationship counselor, will discuss tips and tricks based on neuroscience to help you keep your cool in conflict and communication tactics to resolve conflict more easily.
Nolan Lawless, MS, LPC
Bridging the Gaps with Partners with co-presenter Kimberly Lawless (PG)
There are as many ways to practice non-monogamy as there are people practicing it, so every relationship requires negotiating differences and finding ways to make things work. What happens, though, when the differences seem large, the starting points are far apart, and you don’t even know where to start the conversation? How do we bridge the gaps between where we are and where we want our relationships to be? In this interactive workshop, we will discuss practical steps to address differences in a healthy and constructive manner, find common ground, and develop healthy boundaries in our polyamorous relationships. We will share anecdotes from our own experiences and invite you to share yours, as we explore the frustration, humor, pain, and joy of making our most challenging relationships work.
Deconstructing the Myth of Poly Saints (PG)
In the poly community, there are certain concepts that have become qualifications for “poly sainthood”: always feeling compersion towards metamours and never jealousy, always being available but never needy, always openly communicating but never having drama, and the list goes on. This is model that poly newbies are told to emulate, that those in the community who are struggling are judged against, and that many of us feel guilty for not living up to. In this workshop, we will explore the origins of some of these ideas, identify how they are presented in formal literature and online message boards, discuss the impact they can have on relationships and the self-concept of polyamorous people, and ask: what does it mean to be “good at” polyamory?
Transitioning Relationships Peacefully (PG-13)
We all know that most relationships don’t last forever, and yet, one thing that often blindsides polyamorous people is how to handle breakups. Many factors can confound breakups: we have maybe one or two scripts for how breakups go when you’re monogamous, and yet there is a lot more granularity in what even is and isn’t a relationship when you’re polyamorous, and so there is similarly a lot more possibilities in how relationships can transition. But it can be sticky – especially when the polyamorous community you swim in is highly interconnected. Through a combination of discussion and presentation, we’ll talk different ways we can think about breakups and about more compassionate approaches to transitioning relationships that leave space for healing for ourselves and our partners. We’ll also talk about how to share mutual connections with our ex-partners so that our communities and families don’t become fractured by breakups, as well as being aware of and minimizing the inevitable daisy chain of emotional labor.
How to Host a Kickass Play Party (M)
As a person who has hosted numerous play parties and attended many more, I have spent a lot of time hacking how I structure my parties to provide a good experience for everyone. I also have a small community of play party hosts locally in my community who’ve come together to share what has worked well and what hasn’t when hosting a play party. In this workshop I’ll discuss the pros and cons of the different ways you can structure your party and share generally half of the workshop sharing the collected wisdom of years of play party hosting and attendance. The second half will be some open discussion where participants can answer questions and share about their experiences. Bring your curiosity and your experiences and let’s talk about how we host a kickass play party!
Sex Positivity When You are Ace, Aro, Demi, or Just Aren’t Into It (R)
Finding a sex-positive community can be really liberating if you grew up in a sex-shaming culture, which many of us have. But as much as polyamorous folks deny it, sometimes being polyamorous can feel like it’s all about the sex – which can be tough if you are asexual, aromantic, or demisexual, or if you just have circumstances that are pumping your sexual brakes. This workshop describes some of the pitfalls of being in a space where it feels like everyone is into it but you aren’t into it and offers some strategies for feeling supported, connected, and attached without sex as the primary glue that binds you to your people. There will also be space to share, ask questions, and get support.
Jessie Lou Greeson
Break-up Better (PG-13)
When “It’s not you, It’s me…” won’t cut it anymore you eventually need to become the change you want to see in the world and with the rise of technology at the center of our relationships, it’s high time we started to change our relationship with ending relationships. This talk will cover basic principles of ethical breakups, how to deal with ghosting and other bad break up behaviors in a close knit community, setting break up contracts and when to do that as well as how to break-up with love and dignity.
Flirt Better 2.0 (PG-13)
Post #MeToo some of us are looking for creative, fun and healthy ways to get that special someone’s attention without feeling creepy or gross. This is an interactive workshop that asks participants to openly question and discuss their current flirting fears as well as workshop with other participants new skills that are both flattering and respectful.
Jenn and Ford
Taming Your Trolls (PG-13)
As ethical non-monogamy becomes more mainstream, people are increasingly turning to social media to find information and support. The resulting influx of neophytes has resulted in many a Facebook forum or email listserve melting down into a pile of quivering goo. Jenn Stauffer and J. Wilford Neville share some of the lessons they’ve learned as they’ve shepherded the Utah Polyamory Society from a group of a few dozen loosely connected people to a vibrant community of over 2,250 members. They’ll talk about selecting admins and moderators, fostering an atmosphere that encourages healthy disagreement, and creating a community ethos of support and accountability.
Ford and Krista
Consent is Fucking Mandatory (R)
Consent is a hot topic in today’s culture, especially within sex positive and alternative lifestyle communities, however, Krista Niederjohn and J Wilford Neville address two aspects of the topic that are frequently overlooked. First, how employing good consent practices can help us have more and better sex; and second, that while consent can be an incredibly nuanced topic, taking accountability for our actions and making small changes in our approaches can help us all be more ethical sexual beings.
Fools Rush In (PG-13)
Have you ever wondered what goes into creating that big poly commune you’ve always dreamed of? From legal considerations to unexpected pitfalls–as well as the surprise bonuses–this workshop will help you ask the right questions, make the important decisions, and have the difficult conversations you need to get your household off on the right foot, improving your chances of long-term sustainability.
Courtney Geter, LMFT, CST
Attachment Theory (R)
Attachment styles are how we connect to other human beings. They are formed from the very beginning of life and stay with us until death. Most people don’t know or understand their attachment style and how this plays out in their relationships and most research focuses on coupled relationships. This workshop will explore how we attach to others including all romantic partners and explore how attachment styles can benefit non-monogamous relationships.
- Participants will learn about the three primary attachment styles and learn to recognize their own attachment style.
- Participants will learn the importance of attachment styles in romantic relationships and the benefits of attachment styles in non-monogamous relationships
- Participants will learn how to interact with differing attachment styles in order to create secure and satisfying relationships.
Post-modern Parenting: Co-parenting plans or the “Untraditional” family (PG-13)
Parenting can make or break a family and relationship(s). Parenting styles and preferences are widely undiscussed when forming a relationship or family. However, discussion about parenting values can greatly improve the satisfaction of a relationship and the experience in the family. This workshop will explore and discuss values that create one’s parenting style of preferences and explore the content and navigation of the parenting plan
- Participants will explore and discuss values for parenting and identify their own values in parenting
- Participants will explore and discuss the content of a parenting plan and how to navigate creating a parenting plan with co-parents or partners.
- Participants will begin to create their own parenting plan or thoughts to share of a parenting plan with co-parents/partners.
Kids in Poly Families Panel moderated by Courtney Geter (G)
Panel of children of various ages that have been parented or raised by polyamorous parents. Get their take on the good and the bad and have a chance to ask them about their opinions and experiences.
Sex Toys 101: What You Need to Know When Choosing and Using Sex Toys (M)
Have you been curious about sex toys though nervous to ask anyone or go into a sex toy store? Are sex toy stores overwhelming and intimidating? Come join this intimate and educational workshop to learn the basics of sex toys and have a space to ask questions without judgement. This workshop will introduce you to the different types of sex toys and discuss the importance of choosing a body safe toy and how to care for your toy. This workshop will have actual products for you to touch and a giveaway for one lucky participant!
- Participants will learn how to choose a sex toy.
- Participants will learn to care for their sex toys in order to prolong the life of the toy.
Sex Toys 102: Keeping You, Your Partners and Your Toys Safe (M)
This workshop is for those already using sex toys and looking to gain more information about safe sexual play and how to avoid injuries with sex toys. This workshop will provide basic information on the body as a system and how sex can lead to injury. The workshop will also discuss how sex toys can enhance sexual pleasure when there are physical limitations and how to avoid possibly injury.
- Participants will learn how the body functions as a system
- Participants will learn possible risks to sexual play and toy play and learn ways to enjoy sex when there are limitations
Cynical Polyamory (R)
Have you been non-monogamous long enough to see, read about, or experience “Bad Polyamory” first hand? Are you wondering if healthy polyamory is just a pie-in-the-sky ideal that might not even exist? Come and discuss some of the frustrations and challenges of learning and living as a polyamorous person. All relationship styles welcome for this interactive discussion.
The Metamour Dilemma (R)
Metamours: love them or hate them, your relationships with the partners of your partners, can have major impact on your polyamorous relationships. This discussion will focus on navigating those connections, whether they are positive or negative.
Disability Awareness & Dating Discussion Group (R)
Let’s discuss respect, people-first language, and public perceptions of disabilities in the poly community and society. What should and shouldn’t be said around someone with disabilities? Have you recently met someone you may be interested in, but you’re not sure how to address them, or what their specific needs are? Bring your questions to the table!
It’s Not All Talk: Non-verbal Communication (R)
Healthy relationships require productive conversations (verbal and non-verbal). Consensually non-monogamous relationships require us to “communicate to death”.
Many conflicts within our relationships result from a breakdown of communication. Someone, maybe everyone, involved in the communication either dropped the ball on listening, speaking or both.
This interactive workshop will explore where communication breaks down within relationships. We will find our strengths and challenges to communicating and brainstorm strategies to strengthen our communication skills.
Marguerite aka Sacara
Orientations and All of the Words (PG-13)
Time to go through all of the words! We’re look into the definitions and uses of words, terms and orientations that describe folks in our intersecting communities including kink, bdsm, polyamory, ethical non monogamy, sexuality and so much more! Who knows you might learn something you want to add to your life! Be sure to come with terms you’d like to share.
PoC & Poly (PG)
A space for poly people of color to discuss the highs, lows and plateaus of intersectionality in the life.
Building a Polyam-Fam (PG-13)
As Non-Monogamy grows up, the question of family becomes all the more relevant to those people looking to build multi-generational family while loving without limits. Fortunately, Koe Creation is a second generation: sex-positive, polyamorous, relationship educator and is here to share their wisdom with you!
In this class we will cover:
– Tools for creating a safe and family friendly, sex-positive environment.
– How to translate polyam communication skills to your parenting.
– A Formula for Coming Out
To top it off, you’ll get to go home with some incredibly cute art to show your loved ones!
Whether you yearn to have a thriving non-monogamous family to already have one you are calendaring for; you will get the chance to discuss your issues and gain some first-hand wisdom from a thriving polykid! Workshop includes discussion and drawing, suitable for teenagers who are good with adult topics.
How to Get the Play you Crave (M)
Nobody gets off on dissatisfaction. When it comes to crafting the play that will truly satisfy you; negotiation is one of the most lucrative opportunities to gain insights on the juicy details you might be missing, that will make your experience, electric!
During this class, we will explore:
– Finding “The Juice” between partners.
– Easily Identifying our Boundaries
– Harm Reduction Techniques for Play!
You deserve all of the playfulness you can imagine; and is more easily accessible than you might think. So, what are you up for?!
Gender, Orientation, and Love (PG)
What does LGBTQIA2S stand for, and why are the distinctions important? What is with the latest discussions on pronouns, gender identity, and bathroom usage? What is the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity? How to I parent my queer/trans kid? How do I love my queer/trans partner? In This workshop we will break down the vocab, and work on understanding and using validating language, as well as managing relationships and sex involving LGBTQIA2S folks. This is a place welcome to all bodies, identities, questions, and all levels of experience and knowledge.
Alternatives to Monogamy (PG-13)
For many years, western culture and media has portrayed having romantic or sexual exclusivity and ‘one true love’ as an ideal to strive for in our love lives. There is nothing wrong with monogamy, but what if we stopped assuming monogamy as a default to all relationships? With limited representation or education on alternatives, how do we know what a healthy and ethical non-monogamous relationship looks like? What are the other relationship options, what do they look like, and how to we begin to explore them?
In this lecture/discussion based workshop we’ll explore the various non-monogamous relationship dynamics such as open relationships, triads, and relationship anarchy, and many others! You can expect topics such as boundaries, agreements, jealousy, healthy communication and more!
Embracing Your Primal Side (M)
Connection. Passion. Physicality. HOT!
This demonstration and participation (not required!) workshop will focus on what it can mean to be primal, whether that involves animalistic aggression, sex, romance, serenity, or any other form of connection that keeps you present and instinctive. There will be opportunity for hands on learning and exercises as we work on achieving, navigating, and managing various forms of primal states. You’re welcome to watch (we tend to get incredible observations from viewers!), bring a partner, or come on your own and perhaps partner up with someone! Feel free to bring a blanket!
Polyamory and the American Financial System (PG)
The fact that American law and finances insists that no more than two people can be connected romantically works against the greater acceptance of polyamory. Polyamory simply does not map properly onto our current financial system. Beneficiaries, flow of money, custody rights and property protection assume no more than one person for one person. I’m trying to invent – using existing law and established practices – to achieve such things for polyamorous people so that all rights are respected and wealth can become generational.
Alexandra Tyler LCSW, CCH
Codependence or Interdependence (PG-13)
What are the essentials for a healthy relationship?
This class explores the foundational ingredients for healthy relationships. We will discuss individual rights and personal boundaries, responsibilities to yourself and your relationships, negotiating expectations, accepting unpleasant realities, honoring informed consent, emotion regulation skills and why they are important to healthy relationships, identifying controlling behaviors in yourself or in others and how to respond to them, and ethical interactions and communications.
Defending Non-monogamy (PG-13)
When I first became non-monogamous I was astounded at the width, breadth, and vitriol of attacks that I received from almost everyone, and especially my close family. Even with my background in ethics argumentation I found myself often on my back foot. Since then I’ve had years to study and understand how and why this happens and to devise some useful responses. It is this expertise that I intend to share with you.
In this course we will discuss the most common underlying reasons that people have such reactions, methods of self care and defense that you can practice, as well as strategies to help you present the deeply ethical nature of non-monogamy in a way that those closest to you may actually be able to hear. Granted not everyone will be able to have their minds changed but there is strong research indicating the most successful methods which we can employ to help others understand.
Please come prepared with stories of your most unreasonable detractors and their most intractable arguments so that we can untangle them together.
Non-monogamous by Nature (R)
Who doesn’t love learning about their own body? Did you ever wonder how many types of sperm the human male has, and what the different types do? How about the leading theory on why human females cry out during mating?
Understanding more about how our bodies evolved, and what the likely nature of their functions is, is not only extremely entertaining it also gives us something which is always invaluable, self knowledge. In this course I discuss what we know about our sexual evolution, what we can learn from it, and how it might inform our own relationship practices. You’ll also get a nifty infographic handout with some of the most interesting fun facts and citations for those facts! (Note: This course deals with studies on the average expression of biological sex, thus the use of the term male and female, and has nothing to do with genders.)
When Love Conquers All: Speeding Up Generational Acceptance (PG-13)
It is a sad fact that most significant social changes are accomplished through generational change. This means that new generations embrace new ideas while resistors age and die off allowing the change to become socially viable. Support for Gay marriage however far outstripped that pace with record changing acceptance among older generations in recent years. What was different? When people realized people they loved were gay they had to choose between love and hate, and in record numbers they chose love. 32% of older generational members who changed their view on gay marriage (by far the largest percent of people who changed their views) cited knowing someone personally as a reason. The question for the non-monogamous community is what can we learn from this paradigm shift and how can we implement it in our own lives and communities to attempt to gain that kind of acceptance.
Michael Haag, Mandee Conant, and Sarah Lucas
Probably Poly: Live Podcast Recording (M)
Rebecca Duffield, JD, LLM
Bye Felicia! Recognizing Energy Drains and How To Plug Them (PG)
Recognizing the signs of toxicity in relationships and how to effectively and affectionately detach.
Go with the Flow: Energy Work 101 (PG)
An exploration of Reiki, the Law Of Attraction, and other energy related thought patterns and their potential benefits for relationships and quality of life.
Big Red, MS, EdS, LPC
Relationship Hack: How to Love More and Hurt Less in Your Relationships (R)
Even the healthiest of relationships have power struggles, and other common relationship challenges, and this is no different if you have chosen a “non-traditional” relationship or approach that you love and have worked hard to create.
Wouldn’t you love to walk away with practical tips and tools that you could start using right away? Well you can, and will, because in this extremely practical workshop we will identify and discuss real relationship issues from real relationships—yours. So feel free to come alone, or with a friend, partner or three.
Who’s Your Daddy: Beyond Biology (M)
In this interactive workshop we will focus on anything from “multi-parenting” approaches, choosing to or not to have children within the Poly Unit, timing and what to consider when considering starting and/or expanding a family, surrogacy, moving from gender roles to identifying and practicing partner roles, co/multi-parenting agreements, emotional and practical resource support building related to reproductive/fertility issues, choosing known or unknown donors—especially when there are fertility or other barriers to “traditional” reproductive paths.
Full Time Relationship, Part Time D/s (M)
Do you only call your husband “Sir” on Saturdays? Does your girlfriend or boyfriend only kiss your boots every other weekend? Is he only “Daddy” when you fly in once every month or two? Are you “Queen” or “Goddess” predominately at events, and wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend every other day? Are you sometimes “honey, sweetie, or baby” and other times “Ma’am”?
Created with you in mind, this workshop will look at full time relationships where, for whatever reason, partners currently practice D/s roles part time. We will exam some pitfalls and benefits of attempting to turn D/s on and off, and ways to do it that work best for you and your relationships.
Rachel Anne Kieran, Psy.D.
Poly/Kinky Science Makes the World Go Round!(PG-13)
Have you ever assumed that if you shared your relationship or kinky activities with a mental health professional that they would slap a diagnosis on your file faster than you could say “Freud?” Would you be surprised to know that if they did, they would most likely be acting unprofessionally and contradicting the guidelines for diagnosis set forth by their professional bodies? Want to know about some recent changes made to these guidelines that actually significantly de-pathologized many forms of sexual diversity? And how there has never been a diagnostic code for having multiple partners? Let’s talk about it!
You can’t drink from any empty cup: Learning to cope with stress (productively!) (PG-13)
How many relationships are you in? No matter how we answer that question, most of us need to add 1 to that number – we forget about our relationship WITH OURSELVES. At best we put this important relationship last, and at worst we ignore it altogether, forgetting that if we do not take care of ourselves we have nothing left to give to others. In this workshop, learn about the very real physical, cognitive, emotional and interpersonal consequences of failing to attend to the most basic self-care. Learn how human beings evolved into the balls of anxiety we are today, and what we can do about it. And make a plan to add a caring, loving, restorative relationship to your live – a nurturing relationship with yourself!
I’m Powerful! I’m Oppressed! I’m Tired! -with co-presenter Scarlett Ross (PG-13)
So, you’re poly, queer, kinky, femme, and a strong independent woman…..but where does that internalized shaming voice come from that insists you really should mop the floors and iron the underwear? You don’t pressure other people to do that, and you know you don’t have time for it, but somehow can’t give yourself permission for feel at ease with being less than the perfect housewife. Seems like this can happen with any identities we hold – master, sub, femme, partner, employee…. – why can we never give ourselves permission to be enough? And how do we navigate the difficulties of being “enough” in complicated relationships that in which we HAVE to negotiate new expectations with each partner?
Join a queer poly psychologist (who is still working on this stuff in her own head!) and a poly-person of over 20 years to talk about how we have to remember to check our expectations and our identities just as much at year 20 as we did on day 1. This workshop will challenge participants to look at the multiple identities and roles they hold, and how unspoken or unacknowledged expectations may be putting pressure on relationships that could be relieved